The Modern Journalist

The Accidental 25-Hour Plane Ride, in Twitter

I flew to New York City last weekend for a round of interviews for the book. Little did I know that the most exciting part of the journey (other than a few of the cool interviews) would come as I tried to fly home.

Tornadoes, thunderstorms, mechanical problems and general chaos descended upon my trip. What should have been a 4-hour, 55 minute return flight turned into an epic 25-hour excursion that involved at least 12 separate delays, cancelations and flight changes.

Fortunately, I never pack my batteries, cords or computers — so I Tweeted the entire event. What follows is a narrative as I slowly fell to pieces during my overnight stay at O’Hare (brought on because of a 2 1/2 delay on the tarmac at LaGuardia and a 30-minute delay in getting to the gate in Chicago).

I have no edited the Tweets (although I may, sic, at some point). Please enjoy — and let me know what you think. (Oh and remember to read from the bottom up as the Tweets are from latest to earliest).

***

24.5 hrs after setting out, I have landed in Cincinnati - dad picking me up, either go for a run, write or pass out :) about 6 hours ago from txt

Ladies + gentleman - I’m on the plane, I have 5-2 odds that my flight crashes due to mechanical failure (or body odor) United 7926 about 8 hours ago from txt

Latest: mechanical issues on the cincy flight; may be scrubbed here, they say about 8 hours ago from txt

Airport rule: if you walk slow or weave, I will nudge you out of the way, I will cut you off. That is UR fault. Rules of the road. about 8 hours ago from txt

Starting bording the flight, then stopped and said we had to wait - no explanation given about 8 hours ago from txt

Funny passenger said: Cincy plane just left - it had not - mad rush to gate ensued about 8 hours ago from txt

@ReedieJR fewer delays could be: fewer domestic flights so fewer # od delays, better gauge is % delay-to- sked’d & % displaced people, about 8 hours ago from txt in reply to ReedieJR

United just sent me an email, offering great prices on their flights. EPIC FAIL ftw about 9 hours ago from txt

I once had a flight canceled when the flt crew went home, unaware they’d be assigned another flight. about 9 hours ago from txt

Even the pilots are confused. United can’t find the First Officer for the flight blocking my gate. More delays forthcoming… about 9 hours ago from txt

Flying is not for the weak, people. Old and kids need not apply. Stop whining, u nation of pansies. Bring a pillow + do as ur told. about 9 hours ago from txt

my flt arrives @ 1147, board says we leave on-time at 1153 - I am takibg bets on that happening about 9 hours ago from txt

Everyone de-planing looks defeated; everyone waiting looks pissed. Forget the army, navy - the airlines have won. about 9 hours ago from txt

No shit: 3 customer service reps just shut down the CS counter with10 people standing there - and they walkd away. thank u, good nite. about 9 hours ago from txt

As per our foreign policy, I think pre-emptive strike against the customers is proportional. Go Army. about 9 hours ago from txt

The Navy and Army have shown up. I’d like to say this is an over-reacrion - but the cust service desk has been flooded again. about 9 hours ago from txt

I’ve seen racial harmony - soccer moms of Beneton have lost their shit on customer service reps. Do not mess with spoiled soccer moms. about 9 hours ago from txt

Cust serv rep keeps closing line, customers keep opening back up - someone is going down about 9 hours ago from txt

@lewsmind, @ReedieJR - days like this I wish I was still drinking, I incite well - and O’Hare is teetering. Just needs on professional push about 9 hours ago from txt in reply to lewsmind

Customer service rep to delayed passengers, OH: I don’t care where u go, but I’m leaving here at 11. about 10 hours ago from txt

They just announced an interfaith service at the airport. The airport is FULL if imagination and fantasy today. about 10 hours ago from txt

I feel like I’m watching the beginning of a Sci-Fi movie, right before society falls apart. To quote Spock, fascinating. People are pissed. about 10 hours ago from txt

Customers now opening up lines that united staff tried to close; couple in their late 60s may verbally pummel next united employee to speak about 10 hours ago from txt

At 2 gates, employees have locked the gates down - say if u need help to see customer service - in Terminal 2 - yikes, United, yikes about 10 hours ago from txt

The mood in O’Hare Terminal 1 F has turned dark and hostile - airline employees are now openly avoiding irate customers about 10 hours ago from txt

The us airline industry must become completely transparent - and decentralize its supply chain — they are easily fixable probs about 10 hours ago from txt

When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro: HST. Brother, I’m about to turn pro. This wuld make more sense if I was bentm about 10 hours ago from txt

When u see so many people at the breaking point (several weak 1s already broke), u have 2 choices: anarchy or utter kindness - both r scary about 10 hours ago from txt

80 minutes to board and we’re still on time - 33 percent of flights delayed - I feel like tom hanks in the terminal - or maybe cast away about 10 hours ago from txt

@Geletka: if I had a ride to cincy - and a ticket to adtech, I would - about 10 hours ago from txt in reply to Geletka

‘cept anyone building a business on ads and technology is in trouble about 11 hours ago from txt

I guess I should just stay in chicago for adtech - since I may never leave about 11 hours ago from txt

Hey reporters - where’s the story about the airline infrastructure (@jason_pontin) - probly worth a look since all but SW r losing $$ about 12 hours ago from txt

@andrhia - yuppers, and rain in chitown may delay me more - could be a 2 day flt from nyc to cincy; yahtzee. about 12 hours ago from mobile web in reply to andrhia

Checked in to a flight that does not yet exist - interesting and existential. I wonder if i’m here? Must be, my back aches. about 13 hours ago from txt

well, at least I can’t go outside to smoke until 4 am (really, we deny people who have been cooped up all day + expect rationale behavior) about 19 hours ago from txt

Mt connecting flt - I shit u not - closed the door as I walked up: u were close, sir. Fuck you, he replied. 12 hrs until next flt about 19 hours ago from txt

I said socialism, went to berkeley and teach college - surprised I haven’t been put in jail yet… about 20 hours ago from txt

If we bail out the industry + don’t force failure/innovation - then we either need to go full socialism or I am leaving the country about 20 hours ago from txt

5 hours late to Chicago - and now they won’t give us a gate. Hooray airlines :) my congressman will be getting a letter. about 20 hours ago from txt

If its 51 million, we’re good - otherwise, yall make me people like in the poor house disproportionately about 24 hours ago from txt

3.3 million Appalachians - trying to get a figure percent of overall population about 24 hours ago from txt

Hey Tweets - someone look up, us census, poverty - how many americans living below the poverty line in the US? about 24 hours ago from txt

Hey Chicago - stop raining :) and hey airline industry, you have taken my last domestic dollar: if I can’t drive, I won’t see you about 24 hours ago from txt

On the bright side, bittorrent gave me batman begins (should have grabbed the matrix) and I have 6 hrs of battery time 09:14 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

In the immortal words of The Simpsons: its not die, bart, die. Its The, Bart, The 08:40 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

Now we are 1h and 50 mins away - but I’m sure they have their reasons 08:34 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

We were, I shit you not, beginning the run to take off when they shut down o’hare for an hour 08:33 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

I can’t believe I’m likely going to miss a connection that had 4 1/2 hours. Cover yer ears kids: Fuck United Airlines. thk u, goodnite. 07:57 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

To recap: weather delay - 6, 630, 7, 720 - then mechanical delay 750 - original 2nd leg, canceled, 954 - no idea if I’ll make it 07:00 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

@sarahcuda - had similar experiences at LensCrafters, United Airlines w/in the last 2 weeks: go US economy, the markets decide!! 06:45 PM August 04, 2008 from txt in reply to sarahcuda

My delayed flight delayed more - ninja skills stretched - had 100 mins between last leg - now have 39 minutes - but gates next 2 each othr 06:43 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

I’m an airport ninja - was told I got the only connecting flight home on this by continually calling the cust ser reps - 04:22 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

I have an indian asst, I a.m doing work in china - I have a weird accent - the cust serv rep I just spoke to - unintelligible - go united!! 03:56 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

United flights are canceled - text message system failed - soooooooo standing in line, waiting - may spend the night in the terminal 02:47 PM August 04, 2008 from txt

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